Top Stories

Ethanol Resistant Bacteria Wreak Havoc on World

Bacteria have developed a tolerance to yet another drug. But this one actually makes them reproduce faster.

Turbanated Xenon

Fear of Xenon Grips America

It's odorless. It's colorless. It's Xenon. And it may be coming to a basement near you. Xenophobia now ranks as America's number 2 phobia, right behind microphallophobia.

World Running Out of Electrons, New Report Warns

Will the electron be added to the endangered sub-atomic particles list? A shocking new report suggests a global shortage by tomorrow.

Congress introduces "No Child Gets Ahead" Policy

Over-achievement is found to be just as pernicious a problem as under-achievement.

Spam Author Receives Nobel Prize in Literature

Prolific spam author Robert Soloway is truly a "writer for the masses".

Search for left-handed polar bear meets sinister end

Inspired by an internet meme, Professor Francis Maladroit's grad students begin a cack-handed journey in search of south paws at the north pole. But will their research eat them alive?

"Generation Z" may be the last generation, experts warn

Will the "Y2Z Problem" lead to the extinction of the human race? As usual, it seems that Canada is to blame for this upcoming catastrophe.

Spam linked to Global Warming

Both spam and global warming began in the 1990's. Coincidence? Al Gore thinks not. Spam recycling may be our only hope.

Kiribati, Nauru fight over East Pole

Following the collapse of their national industries of money laundering and tax evasion, Nauru attempts to exploit the one nearby tourist attraction. However, they will have to defeat Kiribati to get it.